The Keg Matthieu Maftei
for President
Matthieu Maftei

Question 1

Initiative 1: Turn the President's office into a licensed pub: Beer will be served 24 hours a day, and strippers will be performing live shows every hour, on the hour. Thursdays will be ladies' night.

Initiative 2: A union-busting drive. Did you know that CUPE actually has a contract settled with the university? Their strike isn't even directed at the university, it's directed at the NDP government (which they continue to fund, by the way). But who gets shafted up the arse? That's right, fellow students: we do. No longer is the administration the only supplier of sore arses on campus; now, you can go to the Plant Ops building and get the same 2 x 4 treatment.

Initiative 3: Get rid of council. With only the Radical Beer Faction members in charge, things would actually get done. And meetings would be held every day in the Pit and in the Gallery, on a rotating basis. I can guarantee you that we would actually get real student input that way, and we wouldn't have to listen to some special-interest group whom nobody cares about sputter on about their cause-of-the-day.

Question 2:

What the heck is this question doing here? Can the AMS rule on abortion rights? No. Can the AMS rescind Supreme Court judgments? No. Let's talk about real student issues, here. Like the appalling price of beer on this campus. I've been at some beer gardens where they charged $2.50 for a beer! That's unacceptable. If myself and the rest of the Radical Beer Faction candidates are elected, there will be a $1.00 price cap on all beer sales on campus.

Question 3:

Hrm? Where am I? What do you want? Stop poking me, dammit, and get me another beer!

Question 4:

We at the Radical Beer Faction have been promoting student interests for 10 years now. A whole decade. No other slate can claim to have been around that long. And no other slate can claim to have at least two candidates running who have been around for more than five years. Unlike the other resume-padding candidates, we have no political aspirations. No wannabe prime ministers here! We know what university life is like, and we deal with student politics the way it should be dealt with...drunk. Vote Radical Beer Faction. We know what you want.

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