- (After cleverly tying sticks to my fins:)
Why am I running for VP Academic? I'll tell you why. Because I care about
the people, even though they fail to recognise the inherent superiority of
a gill-based lifestyle. As an Amazing Fortune-Telling Siamese Fighting
Fish, I empathise with the hardships that come with being a UBC
student. And with my awe-inspiring and extensive martial arts training, I
will be able to survive the vicious and cannibalistic nature of student
- I will work towards the active erosion of the cliffs surrounding UBC,
thus leading to an increased level of water awareness amongst the student
- As Aquatic Liason for CUPE Local 2278, I will lobby for the
decriminalisation of plankton and plankton grow operations. Furthermore, I
will work to preserve the life of my fellow aquatic brethren by demanding
that Pie R Squared serve less shrimp, and more chicken ass pizzas!
And for the love of God, stop tapping on the glass!