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Dan Anderson for VP External

When you first arrived on campus, what were you most excited about? The classes? Unlikely. The lineups? The fees? The art gallery in the SUB? Didn't think so. The new people, the new experiences, and the new parties - now that sounds more like it. The RBF is uniquely positioned to help you get more out of university; if we get elected, we'll divert all funds away from silly projects like U-town (who wants a McDonalds' where the pool is now?) and into free kegs for students. There are millions socked away in an 'emergency fund' - I think that the lack of free beer on campus is a dire emergency. Have your student fees go someplace you can see them: into a stein in front of you!

As External, I'll deal with external issues. We will declare war upon Sovmokistan. With our specially trained Wreck Beach Marines, we will immediately achieve victory (trust me, Sovmokistan's military is a mule painted black with pointy sticks tied to it), and with the spoils we will begin to expand and conquer larger, non-imaginary countries.

After conquering the globe, UBC will be uniquely positioned; as the head of the Empire, it will take the position that Geneva, the White House, the Vatican, and so forth all take right now. And as leader of the military wing, I shall crush all opposition. Then each person will be tithed 1c per month; other than this, life will continue as usual, while local governments continue to rule under our direct control. This will allow us to purchase, at wholesale, one keg per person per month. And nobody else will notice - hey, it's a penny a month.

Of course, the trade routes for copper (and now zinc and nickel and steel) will need to be expanded, and we will need to develop coin counting, storing, and conversion machinery and facilities. But don't worry about that - imagine how much more energetic the engineers will be when they're loaded every day!

The RBF is a clean slate, a fresh slate, an utterly drunk slate. We don't see the point in beating around the bush; we're not doing this to pad our resumes or to ineffectually try to stop global warming. No, our main goal is to get as loaded as we can, as often as we can, and to help the rest of the student populace do the same. After all, if the AMS is going to take fees from you, we might as well give something back. And that something might as well be beer!

So this year, vote for the Radical Beer Faction: dealing with student politics the way they should be - drunk!

my poster        vote


 

The Radical Beer Faction is UBC's oldest political party. For the past 16 years, the RBF has toiled ceaselessly to promote inebriation, irreverence and informed choice at UBC.

OUR PLEDGE:
If you, the students of UBC, give us 10% of the vote, we will throw one big ugly mother of a free keg party on campus.

Vote online now at www.ams.ubc.ca/elections/. It's easy and fun, and you can do it with a beer in your hand!