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Mel Parker for Naked Senate

As a member of the Senate, I promise to:

  • Ensure Taco Bell is installed in all buildings (the all time best hangover remedy when combined with chocolate milk making for better levels of consciousness)
  • Create a mini train that connects all major buildings, hence less stumbling and falling on the way to Taco Bell
  • Get that beer vending machine thing off the ground…with a wide array of beers and malt liquors in cans, bottles and 40oz-ers
  • Fill the pool with Jello. Alcoholic jello that is… good for consumption and wrestling
  • Make sure that your money goes where it should go: towards beer, and the attainment of beer, and dreams of beer for the future
  • Make a lasting impression for the next generation by changing our name from The University of British Columbia to The Universal Beer Capital and living up to the title
  • Change university development plans to allow for a beer themed amusement park à la The Simpsons instead of all those ritzy apartment buildings

Why you shouldn’t vote for me:

  • As I am essentially full of shit and have an attention span of oh, about 5 minutes…it’s highly unlikely that any of these campaign promises will be fulfilled and it is also quite possible that when in power I would violate my position by…ooh, what’s that..? something shiny…strange bottle of beer on floor from who knows where…is it full, is it empty, is it half full, is it half empty? Only time will tell, now reach down and grab the bottle without hitting head on desk….[THUNK]

Vote Mel Parker for Senator!

“Hold my beer while I hit on your boyfriend”

my poster        vote


 

The Radical Beer Faction is UBC's oldest political party. For the past 16 years, the RBF has toiled ceaselessly to promote inebriation, irreverence and informed choice at UBC.

OUR PLEDGE:
If you, the students of UBC, give us 10% of the vote, we will throw one big ugly mother of a free keg party on campus.

Vote online now at www.ams.ubc.ca/elections/. It's easy and fun, and you can do it with a beer in your hand!